Choice

It's not about yes or no. It's not about one or zero. It's not about right or wrong. It's not about today or yesterday, last time, "that" time or now. It's not about "absolutely"s or "but"s. It's not about the calculable, the empirical or deliberate inconsistency.

It is about self-knowledge, intuition, natural compatibility and the needlessly verbalised sense of solidarity. It is unexplainable and should not seek to be explained.

Sometimes, we choose to amend what has been rather than what's coming up. We choose to look back and reflect, an afterthought that struck us as more important and which matters to us, more than the unknown ahead of the present. But when we fail to make our amends, or we thought we failed, we find it hard to commit to what lies ahead, the door of possibility still being open to the past, should success replaces failure sometime in the future.

And even if we don't, believing in our judgement wouldn't be any less skeptical anymore than it might have been. Because the past can be repeated, while the future left untold.

Which always has me in a stalemate.