Philosophical swings?

I can't sleep. I've been thinking alot. Lately. From the relevant to the irrelevant. From the weird to the rational. From the probable to the self-generated. From reality to ignorance, and self-confessed philosophical thinking. I feel entrapped in my mind of out-of-no-where social realities that has kept me captive for so long. To some, it had them labelled as "unnecessary". To others, it has just been part of my philosophy. For me, it has been somewhat rewarding at times, but mostly torturing.

I feel consumed by a whole world of life out there and the conventionally unexplained. Not that I'm on a life-long journey to self-exploration but I may have unintentionally embarked on one. I feel immersed in people's lives and happenings around me that I've consistently lost my sense of Self in the sociological sense; both the I and the Me. I wonder if that translates to the ordinary sense of "not having time for yourself" in living in a comparative lifestyle, or a sense of inferiority to the effect of not being able to settle with what I am, out of constant dissatisfaction with myself in relation to others. The point is, I don't want to be rationalising these stuffs anymore you see, as the process just gets me nowhere near the exit of a "self-full", anti-social and lonesome life. I'm not enjoying the thinking for the most part, though I am able to explain things more subtly.

I'm still interested in philosophy anyway. The only thing I gathered about it is that philosophy makes you think and live in that thinking. Philosophy, in my opinion, doesn't contribute to one's living in the physical sense; it's more of a way of life that does not transcend beyond that grey matter.

Having said all that, I'm still doubtful I would ever change my ways, as momentarily determined as I occasionally use to be. I think I better get some sleep now. It's getting late already. I'll stop here.